ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
