Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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