Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
