I hate all girls vehemently.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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