I puked a lego.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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