Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Randomize