so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
