Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
