when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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