we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
