I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
