Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
