I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
