yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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