Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
