Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize