even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
