good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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