Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
