I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
