I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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