i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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