whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
