i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
