he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
