Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So squirting runs in the family.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
