how can u be prego again
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
