I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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