she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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