based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
