OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
