she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
