glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
