Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
