you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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