you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize