I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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