They should really pass out barf bags in church
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
