i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
