I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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