wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
