We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
