My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
