Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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