We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
