I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
