Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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