oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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