I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
