Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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