God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
