She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
