Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize