Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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