Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
