i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
