I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
