it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
