WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
