she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
